A Person-Centred Reflection on Rejection Sensitivity

Reflections by Heidi Birr, Person-Centred Counsellor

Published: February 2026

Many people describe themselves as “too sensitive,” especially when it comes to relationships. A look, a delayed reply, a change in tone, or a perceived criticism can feel deeply painful — sometimes out of proportion to what others seem to experience.

For some, this sensitivity to rejection or disapproval can feel overwhelming and exhausting. It may show up as intense emotional responses, self-criticism, or a strong urge to withdraw or protect oneself.

Some people use the term Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) to describe this experience. While it is not a formal diagnosis, the feelings it points to can be very real and very distressing.

Feeling Rejection Deeply Is Not a Flaw

In a culture that values resilience and “thick skin,” deep sensitivity is often misunderstood. Many people come to counselling believing that something is wrong with them for reacting so strongly to perceived rejection.

From a person-centred perspective, sensitivity is not a defect. It is often a sign of someone who is deeply attuned to relationships, connection, and belonging.

When rejection feels overwhelming, it can be helpful to wonder not what is wrong, but what this sensitivity might be protecting.

Where Does Rejection Sensitivity Come From?

Experiences of rejection rarely exist in isolation. They are often shaped over time — through early relationships, repeated misunderstandings, emotional neglect, criticism, or feeling unseen or misunderstood.

For some people, these experiences are linked to:

• Growing up needing to adapt or please others
• Feeling different or not fitting in
• Learning early on that acceptance felt uncertain or conditional

Over time, the nervous system may learn to stay alert for signs of rejection, even in situations where no harm is intended.

This is not a conscious choice. It is an understandable response to lived experience.

The Impact on Relationships and Self-Worth

When rejection sensitivity is present, relationships can feel fragile or risky. A small interaction can trigger:

• Intense emotional pain
• Shame or self-blame
• Rumination or overthinking
• Withdrawal or avoidance

Many people describe feeling caught in a cycle — longing for closeness, yet fearing the pain that connection can bring.

Over time, this can affect self-esteem and reinforce the belief that one is “too much” or “not enough.”

A Person-Centred Approach to Rejection Sensitivity

Person-centred counselling does not aim to remove sensitivity or teach someone to suppress their feelings. Instead, it offers a relationship where experiences of rejection can be explored with empathy and care.

When someone feels deeply understood rather than judged, they may begin to:

• Develop greater self-compassion
• Recognise emotional patterns without self-criticism
• Feel safer exploring vulnerability
• Reconnect with their own inner resources

Change, when it comes, often arises from being met with acceptance rather than being pushed to change.

Holding Labels Gently

For some people, the term RSD feels validating — a way of naming something that has long felt confusing or isolating. For others, labels can feel limiting or overwhelming.
In person-centred work, labels are held lightly. What matters most is not the name given to an experience, but how it is lived, felt, and understood by the individual.
You are more than any term used to describe you.

A Gentle Closing Reflection

If sensitivity to rejection feels familiar to you, you are not alone. These experiences can be painful, but they are also meaningful. They point to needs for safety, understanding, and connection.

Counselling can offer a space where these experiences are explored without pressure to “fix” or change who you are — a space where sensitivity is met with respect rather than judgement.

If you would like to explore this further, you are welcome to get in touch or continue browsing the website to learn more about my approach.

Support and further help

This blog is for reflection and information only and is not a substitute for counselling or mental health support. If you are experiencing distress or feel at risk, you may wish to contact your GP or access urgent support.

You can contact NHS Urgent Mental Health Helplines by calling NHS 111 and selecting the mental health option to be connected to your local crisis service.
For Lancashire and South Cumbria, the Mental Health Urgent Response Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 0800 953 0110.
You can also contact the Samaritans on 116 123, free to call, 24 hours a day.